Tuesday, March 22, 2011

12 weeks

Our precious baby is resting in Jesus' arms. We went to the doctor yesterday where they discovered that our baby's heart is no longer beating. Our baby is in heaven with a perfect body, a perfect face, and no need or want for 46 perfect chromosomes.  This morning I woke up with this song playing over and over in my head. I haven't heard it in so long and I know it is God's message especially for me (I was going to provide a link, but I couldn't find my favorite version by Kevin Derryberry).....

Jesus, lover of my soul. Jesus, I will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay. You set my feet upon a rock and now I know.
I love you. I need you. Though my world may fall I'll never let you go.
My saviour, my closest friend. I will worship you until the very end.

Last year we had a small vegetable garden. After our appointment last week I decided that I didn't want to fool with vegetables this year. I just want a pretty place full of flowers.  Norman and I talked about it yesterday and we can't wait to get started.  I am off work today and I am going to pick out some pretty flowers to plant.  I hope it turns out as pretty as the picture in my head.  I will do my best to post pictures. 

Our two other babies are healthy. Once again, the doctor assured me that they are at no risk.  They are growing and moving...and according to the ultrasound I believe we have 2 thumbsuckers  :) .  Also,  it's not confirmed...but we think one just might be a boy.  We're not buying blue yet, but it's just a hunch that the ultrasound tech had yesterday.  I cannot wait to know for sure!  Our next appointment is April 6, so maybe they can tell for sure by then.  I am measuring right along with where I should....Dr. Davis said I am measuring at 4 months for a singleton pregnancy. Yikes! But he is pleased with my baby bump.

Please keep us in your prayers. I know grieving is a process and I will grieve on and off for a very long time (maybe forever) in my own way.  I feel like I am supposed to know how to grieve, but that is silly. I pray that I recognize my need to grieve as well as Norman's. 


  1. Continuing to pray for you and Norman and your little blessings. Praying for God to provide all the comfort and peace that both you and Norman will need.

    I can't wait to see the flower garden. I love to plant so let me know if I can help =)

  2. Mahala,
    Your faith and grace in dealing with all of this is truly inspiring. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. I love this post.

    How wonderful it is to know that YOU WILL see your son or daughter again. What HOPE we have in Him whose promises are true!

    Grieving is a long process. Just let your heart lead you. My best advice is to just grieve at your own pace and not compare your grief with anyone else. There will be good days and there will be hard, hard days. But, through it all, Christ will have His arms underneath you so that you can fall on Him. It's a beautiful thing.

    I can't wait to see your flower garden too!

    Love you and I am so amazed and thankful that God ordained our friendship!

  4. Praying for God's comfort and grace for you through your grief for your little one.♥
    It is a comfort knowing he is in the arms of the Lord, experiencing true joy and peace..although I know that doesn't take away the grief you feel. I am so thankful to the Lord that your two other little ones are doing so well.
    Love to you, Mahala. Will keep you in my prayers. ♥